i promise you nothing

I'm not dead yet

2007-12-27T17:33:00.000-05:00

Not to sound too Monty Python, but really I'm not dead yet. I've just been busy and not so much for the blogs lately.
So why no blog? Well 1.) I never really have anything to say. I'm just babbling in hopes that you, my online friends, will somehow validate my babbling. 2.) I worked really hard this semester and just didn't have much time for the babbling. 3.) I moved to a shiny new apartment, and basically worked through the entire process in a week. If you've ever moved in Manhattan you understand how icky stressful that is. 4.) My new apartment has no internet yet and 5.) I've been in Texas for the last week recovering from 2-4.
I haven't even looked at the blog world for about a month, and I've realized how much I miss you, my online friends. You also happen to be real life friends so that is super neat. Thanks for your comments I've just read, and I hope you all had merry whateveryoucelebrate's.
Things are good. I have a supercute haircut, my new apartment is wonderful (mainly because it is inhabited only by me and my cat), my personal life is pretty good, school sucks less than it has in ages, and it's my birthday today! Granted I'm spending it with my parents in my rinky dinky home town, but they are the ones responsible for the birthday to begin with. Besides they are happy to ply me with food and booze.
So there you have it. That's about it for me. It's good to see you again, and I'll try to have lots of uninteresting things to post in the near future.

Tell me I'm good

2007-11-13T14:07:00.001-05:00

I just declined a fantastic gift of a 30% discount at Banana Republic from a student on the grounds that taking it would be unethical.

Please comfort me....

I feel like I am in a time machine

2007-10-09T17:26:00.000-04:00

Wow the Warner Brothers company sure knows how to suck it. Warner Brothers' president, f Jeff Robinov, has issued a statement that they are only casting men in lead movie roles from now on because some of the latest movie releases (which happened to have female leads) were shiteous. It makes a lot of sense huh? What backward thinking. What decade is this again?

At least none of the movies from Warner Brothers look like they are any good. I think it will be easier to boycott their movies. Unfortunately I use Time-Warner for internet and cable. Blast.

Ladies and gentlemen

2007-10-09T14:42:00.000-04:00

We have a cat blog. Silk Stocking brought a cute little bundle of kitten-y fluff into the apartment, and now we must blog about it.

My arch nemesis....

2007-09-20T16:49:00.000-04:00

The stupid sale sign in front of stupid Banana Republic.

I'm innocently walking home from the subway after teaching, and there it is. The pretty, shiny, "Sale of the Season" sign. I should know better, but sometimes the bug gets a hold of me. I must try things on. If the shirt is marked off to $30 from $60, I'd be a moron not to buy it! I have that exact same sweater in green, but I can get it in purple too! You know, stupid shopaholic logic like that.

At least I only tried on clothing that was on sale... I almost made it out without a purchase and then one of the tops fit too perfectly. Curses. I need some self control. I need help. I need matching shoes and jewelry!

If only food and booze didn't also cost money.

Look mom!

2007-09-05T17:55:00.000-04:00

So the past few weeks have been craptacular due to a Very Big Deadline I have this weekend, superhuman expectations from faculty for the semester, and my ever growing crankiness with most people.

But for some reason I'm feelin' strangely fine.

Possibly because I successfully ran my very first PCR today! Yaaay! I even put a picture on the refridgerator. Gee I bet mom would be so proud!

I also got to witness Claudius' reaction to a pigeon on the window sill. The whole thing was hilarious and freakin' adorable. Claudius kept trying to attack the pigeon, but the pigeon was just like, "Hey wassup?". Then the pigeon started pecking at the cat's flicking tail through the window.

Friday cat blogging

2007-08-31T09:06:00.000-04:00

I love this sprawled back leggage with the "I hates Friday mornings" yawn. Right there with ya buddy. No less than two cups of coffee will get me going today.

It just became crystal clear

2007-08-30T17:37:00.000-04:00

Academics are f%&!ing insane.

Food is truly my limiting resource

2007-08-21T17:26:00.001-04:00

This summer has been hampered by work (that in all fairness should have been done beforehand) and deadlines are quickly approaching as September draws nearer. I've been locked away in various places reading various books and writing various papers. Unfortunately, some books are restricted in where I can use them, which poses a serious problem to my work schedule.

I am currently using a museum book which can only be read in the museum. I am currently without proper identification and ability to move throughout the museum (specifically to the vending machines) and am running on very low blood sugar. My concentration is waning and my stomach is starting to speak up for itself, which means I'll have to go home sooner than planned or sit here and be competely unproductive in a depressing yellow room with florecent lighting. Bah! I'm starting to get tired of my fat ass's obsession and need for food. Ok I take that back.....

In other random thought processes, Perez Hilton is really good at the separated at birth game.

Friday Cat Blog

2007-08-17T14:56:00.000-04:00

Claudius in one of his many sleeping poses. It almost looks like he's dreaming about that Fillipino Thriller video.

The Pick-Up Artist 360?

2007-08-11T11:48:00.000-04:00

I'm done with my summer teaching gig (yay!) and can now devote the remainder of my summer to finishing up papers/projects, figuring out a ballpark dissertation topic, and of course watching terrible mindless television.

I've decided that Rock of Love is enjoyable with a few beers in me and someone to be snarky with. I tried watching it last week alone and sober and was not impressed. Rodeo was just embarassing to watch, Lacey will never be anywhere near as fun bitchy as New York was, the sober chick has no idea what dating a rocker really entails, and Jess's two tone bleach/pink thing just flat out annoys me. That being said, I will probably watch it again this week.

I also tuned in to the new Real World flimed in Sydney on Wednesday and was shocked they actually threw a real human being (Parisa) in with the typical subhuman garbage they normally put on the show. Of course the majority of the girls hate her for being a decent human being and not having a trashy two-tone dye job. I smell drama in the air (sing-song voice).

The Pick-Up Artist may have the most potential until I Love New York 2 hits the airwaves. 1.) It is filmed in Austin, Tx (Yaaaay) 2.) You have to love those nerds and 3.) The so-called masters of up-picking are completely douche-y.

Mostly I just want to know why Anderson Cooper did that shit to his hair.

My ovaries hurt just thinking about it

2007-08-06T12:35:00.000-04:00

In all seriousness the Dugger family grosses me out.

It's not that they have recently had a 17th child, it's all the children's names begin with J.

Creepy!

Subway rage

2007-07-31T17:54:00.000-04:00

To all the dudes riding the subway: During peak hours I try to make myself as small as possible so as to not crowd the people surrounding me on the bench. Just because you have testicles doesn't mean you shouldn't do the same. You don't have that much junk, so please bring your legs together a little bit.

I also think certain rules of etiquette should be enforced when getting on and off the subway. Main rule - DON'T GET ON UNTIL PEOPLE HAVE GOTTEN OFF. I've been making a point of smacking the people trying to run onto the train with my bag as I'm struggling to get out.

Now I need a cocktail. Possibly something with mint

STD of Love

2007-07-29T22:15:00.001-04:00

Alright, so I've been an avid fan of the Flavor of Love empire since January (I'm a late bloomer but I catch up quickly). But as much as I love trashy television, I wasn't able to bring myself to want to watch the new installment of Chris Abrego's tack - Rock of Love. I've got t say that after a few beers, and a scene in which one of the Rock of Love chicks raises her arms to show a clump of deoderant caking her armpit, I had to stay glued to the train wreck which is Bret Michaels' new "reality" show.

Now I never thought I would say it...but I feel like Flav has outclassed Micheals. The dude wore an effing clock around his neck, but Michaels actually called the women on his show "intelligent". Really, my sides are still hurting. There is something fundamentally different about this show and all the Flav shows and spin-offs. As Boyfriend and I agreed, there seems to be a strict policy of "leave your self respect at the door". Maybe this just hits too close to home when I think back on my college days when I was dating a musician. In fact I think I am learning about some serious flaws on my part in that past relationship. In order to have made it work with the drummer I would have needed fake tits, bleach blonde hair, and a foot-long list of STDs.

Suffice to say I'm glad things have turned out the way they have with me.

So, BH, are you keeping up with the show?

If only I didn't have work to do...

2007-07-24T14:34:00.001-04:00

I want it.

Now.

But I am in the Bronx. Trying to work.

Perhaps tonight I will try and make a Lemongrass Champagne Mojito. Recipe courtesy of the Gilded Fork. Oh minty deliciousness.

I had grand aspirations to start growing my own herbs (mint, basil, etc) this summer. I bought a mint plant near the end of June and had hoped it would turn into a renewable source for all my cocktail garnishing needs. Even with vigilant watering and pruning, however, the plant died. Last week I had to remove the crunchy brown carcass as it was depressing me. Isn't mint supposed to be easy to grow? It's practically a weed!

I've never been good with plants. About the only plant I've been able to take care of has been the pothos ivy in our living room which is about as high maintenance as a dead cat. Ok maybe they require a little more care than that. I tried the neglect route with my first ivy plant which went horribly and have put more effort into the plants in the living room. But now every time I pass a New York City window with flowers and mini-gardens a certain sense of bittnerness swells up inside me. What exactly is wrong with me? I'm a reasonably caring person. I can take care of a few fish and a cat. Hey I take great care of my mammal!

Maybe it has something to do with my subpar arts and crafts skills too...

Oh well. I'll just keep buying my damn mint from the grocery store.

The weather fits the mood...

2007-07-23T17:10:00.000-04:00

The rain is really coming down, everything is grey, and I am essentially the only person on the floor here at College in the Bronx. It's lonely and I feel kind of a sense of loss.

Yeah ... I read the last Harry Potter yesterday.

I'm not going to spoil anything. I had to stay away from the internet all weekend just in case. But I've been doing that anyway. My copy didn't come in until Saturday evening and I had a friend in town as well as dinner plans, so I felt bad about slinking away in to my room with a bottle of wine and the book as planned. Sunday then was spent curled in my bed, emerging only for food when necessary, with the final book. It was a great read, a wonderful adventure, and a nice ending by my standards. But I'll admit I'm sad that another story like this will be hard to come by, and I'll never again wait in anticipation for the next installment of the series.

Siiiiigh.

Wikipedia is such pinko commie liberal garbage

2007-07-17T13:49:00.000-04:00

Or at least that is what people on the far right think? I learned the most amazing thing last night while watching the Daily Show - conservatives hate Wikipedia. Lewis Black went off on all the various responses conservatives have to the ever increasing liberal media, and mentioned Conservapedia, whose tagline happens to be "The conservative encyclopedia you can trust. The truth shall set you free".

Zuh?

Ok I get the whole Fox News thing. Fine. You don't like hearing great things about democrats in the news and would prefer a fair and balanced look up your own asses. Whatever. TV can be a bit liberal with all those educated working women who have sex portrayed in a light that isn't bad. But Wikipedia? Everyone can submit to Wikipedia. I never saw a disclaimer on the website that says insane douchebags can't post to the entries. Apparently all the entries in Wiki are too left-wing though, and conservatives need to fight back against misinformation.

Take for instance their entry on evolution. Oh I'm sorry, the theory of evolution. Let's not leave that out. I love the first paragraph...

The theory of evolution is a naturalistic theory of the history of life on earth (This refers to the theory of evolution which employs methodological naturalism and is commonly taught in public schools and universities). The concept of materialistic evolution differs from the concept of Theistic Evolution in positing that God does not guide the theorized process of macroevolution. There have been various cases of fradulent material that have been used to promote the theory of evolution. A majority of the most prominent and vocal defenders of the naturalistic evolutionary position since World War II have been atheists.

Emphasis on certain words my own. It's cute how they automatically devalue all valid evidence for evolution by linking to an article on the Piltdown Man, Ernst Haeckel's embryological illustrations, and two instances of faked fossils I have never heard about.

Conservapedia also devalues the definition of evolution scientists have adopted after the modern synthesis stating that this is just a "dilution" of the true original meaning.

I can't read through the whole thing without throwing up in my mouth a little bit, but my favorite bit so far is under the section titled "Social Effects of the Theory of Evolution" that blame "evolutionists" for the Nazis, communism, racism, and loose women. All are equally horrific.

I've glanced at abortion, feminism, and gay too. They are all pretty revolting.

* Ok so the site has been out for about a year...how did I never hear about it? *

Monday Monday

2007-07-16T14:39:00.000-04:00

The internet connection in the apartment has been patchy at best, so I've had very internet time at home over the past week. It might be a wiring problem, but Time Warner has not been nice enough to help me yet. Until then I'll be doing most of my messing around on the internet while in the Bronx where I should be doing work.

Speaking of the Bronx ... now you are going to call me crazy, but I kind of really like teaching the 5 week summer session. I feel like I have a real schedule for once and the students are all pretty good. Not only do they flatter me with outright lies, but they are genuinely interested and well behaved. My opinion on this crop of students might also be biased by an incident last week. One of the students brought her elementary school-aged niece to the class a few times, and at the end of the week the girl gave me a classically refridgerator art style drawing that said "Thank you for helping and teaching my aunt". How adorable is that? If only all of my students brought in sweet, well behaved relatives who gave me stuff. It would truly be a magnificent world. If my students pass the exam tomorrow, I'll officially be able to say that I really like them.

This has been a draft for a while

2007-07-10T14:57:00.000-04:00

So I'm back swimmin' in the ol' teaching hole for the month of July. Ah the summer session...5 weeks of taking the 4 train every morning at 7:30 to meet the shining faces of my students. Well...at least the students who show up.

The experience of shuffling to the subway station the past two mornings has been...a sticky one. The summer heat wave didn't care that it was before 9am, or that I had taken the time to blow-dry my hair and apply make-up. I keep showing up with what was supposed to be nicely coiffed hair in a complete shamble or a pony tail, my mascara smudgey below the eyes, my nice professional-looking shirts damp with sweat. Really I have been a mess.

Imagine my surprise then, when two of my front row right corner students told me I look like Katherine Heigl. Seriously...we could be sisters.

The element of surprise is highly overrated

2007-06-23T02:55:00.000-04:00

I had this brilliant plan to surprise my dad for Father’s Day. I would tell him I was coming home on the Tuesday after Father’s Day but show up the Saturday before. It sounded like a great idea. You see since I was a kid I barely got to spend the day with my dad. Either camp started then and he had to drop me off somewhere in the middle of Texas and drive home daughterless, or I couldn’t work the travel in to my schedule. It was sad, and I would always feel terrible about it. What better way to make up for years of Father’s Day neglect than to show up at the door unannounced the night before? Well the universe does not like my joy of surprises and decided to turn the whole plan around on me.

Let me first say that air travel has become something akin to having teeth pulled without anesthesia while particularly snotty gnomes poke at your eyes with flaming daggers. I hate flying. Especially airlines like Continental and American. I hate them. Hate hate hate. This past trip I flew Continental in to Houston, which was a bad idea as flights hardly ever go smoothly when traveling through Houston. Unfortunately this is the only carrier that flies in to my home town. The weather decided to flare up on Saturday when I left New York, which caused my flight out of the city to be delayed by about two hours. These two hours on the runway were spent between a baby with a serious interest in touching me, and the passengers across the row with a very loud infant and a kid who felt that screaming was an appropriate and effective means of communication. Yay! Though I attempted to be productive during the flight it was difficult to muddle though statistical programs with the seat in front of me fully reclined (through take off and landing I might add). Bourbon and David Sedaris had to suffice in order to keep me occupied. For anyone wondering, those two are a great combination.

Despite the fact that most airlines put at least an extra hour in the anticipated flight time, we were pretty late landing in oh so stinky Houston. As our plane landed I was able to wave goodbye to my connecting flight – but I didn’t quite know this yet. I booked it to my connecting terminal and breathlessly asked the ladies at the gate what the status on the flight was. In the irritated manner of a seasoned airport employee one of the women informed me that I was 25 minutes late and the flight was long gone. I then asked if they had been informed by my flight from NY that it would be late and if they had been asked to hold the flight. They said yes but the pilot just decided to leave anyway. Now I’ve been delayed by late passengers before, and I was a little pissed that they couldn’t hold the LAST PLANE TO MY DESTINATION for a few minutes. When I asked about options I was told the first available flight would be at 9pm the next night – Sunday night. Now let’s get back to the point that I was trying to surprise my dad for Father’s Day. After some tearful haggling I realized the jig was up, and I’d either have to call my parents to ask for their advice.

Surprise Dad! I’m stuck in Houston! Maybe I’ll see you on Wednesday!

I am extremely lucky to have a father who can speak to anyone with an intimidating authority. Houston is a 6 hour drive from my home town and it was about 8 pm when all of this was going down. We worked it out so I was able to fly to San Antonio (only a 3 hour drive) in one of the first class seats that had opened up at the last minute. Flying first class makes an astounding difference in flying. They make you feel like a real person, you have leg room, and the drinks are free. Even though my first first class experience only lasted 45 minutes I managed to get two glasses of wine out of it. I was much happier.

Long story short my father kept up the ol’ tradition of traveling a long distance because of me on Father’s Day. This time he just didn’t have to drop me off. It ended up being very nice, and I even got to buy a new outfit since my bag didn’t get in until a day and a half later!

Boyfriend had a much more pleasant experience in his travels today. Yes he did cross state lines to meet my parents. And no we didn’t have to pick him up from Houston or San Antonio. I guess when you aren’t trying to surprise anyone flights will be on time and won’t leave you.

David Chase, you broke my heart

2007-06-12T10:04:00.000-04:00

I've been meaning to blog about my trip to a fancy resort in the Dominican Republic and the searing pain of air travel since Thursday, but I'll pass for now and just bitch about the biggest television dissapointment in history. Yeah I'm still upset over the series finale of The Sopranos.

There was a time when I didn't invest in too many tv shows. The amount of television I watch has dramatically increased since the acquisition of digital cable (gotta get the money's worth), but I still don't get as emotinally invested in Flavor of Love Charm School as I do in the shows I've watched religiously for years. But don't get me wrong, I rush to the television set every Sunday night to see what Mo'Nique will make those gals do next. Like much of America I became hooked by The Sopranos and have felt tied to it for years. I've sat through most of the series at least twice during dvd marathons which lasted for days. I've agonized over the characters, story lines, and deeper meaning each episode might carry. I never considered it "just a mafia show" offering only gratuitous violence and hardcore nudey scenes. Though the show had whackings and boobs-a-plenty! The Sopranos took over a place the X-Files once had in my nerdy tv loving heart but with something a little deeper. I gave my devotion to that show and maybe I just expected too much in return.

For those of you who saw the finale on Sunday, will see it in the future, or have heard about it through the internet buzz that has been generated, I am in the camp of fans who were severely dissapointed by the "ending". I've read a few articles in the blogs, people's comments, and news stories in an attempt to make sense of what the hell David Chase was thinking. I appreciate bringing a more artistic and deep sensibility to a genre that tends to be associated with little intellect, but give me a fucking break. The Soprano's wasn't beatnik performance art. It was a show with fans who expected something. At least some ducks for crying out loud. The blank screen may be getting praise for being deep and artistic, but in my mind it was the moment where we finally got a view through David Chase's eyes as he shoved his head all the way up his own ass. I'm getting sick of people in the entertainment industry considering themselves too smart for their audience. You are nowhere without your audience and in that sense you owe them something for that. Maybe I'm just a yokel, but some artsy fartsy no ending ending isn't going to cut it for me. Let the hipsters obnoxious film students have it.

If only I had this kind of passion for real stuff.

Celebrity news is way more important than everything else going on in the world

2007-06-08T23:17:00.000-04:00

Call me shallow and heartless, but that picture that keeps coming up in the news of Paris Hilton crying in the cop car gives me the same morbid pleasure I get from seeing how fat cheerleaders from my high school have gotten when I paruse MySpace.

And I love typing ridiculously long sentences. And watching shows like Best Week Ever and The Soup.

Student exam answers...sort of offensive edition

2007-04-25T19:05:00.000-04:00

While in the end written answers are far more painful to grade than multiple choice, they do happen to act as little windows to my students' souls. It's interesting what they pick up, selectively process, and warp from my lectures. One of the most astounding responses I got was for the definition of sexual dimorphism.

"A sexual disorder where an animal wants to have sex with another species of the same sex"

I'm not quite sure when I gave that definition. I AM certain that I defined sexual dimorphism like... a million times.

I also like to include the question, "If you could be any kind of non-human primate what kind would you be and why?" in my exams because it forces the students to spit something they learned about primates out and I always hope the answers will be entertaining. Generally the guys want to be gorillas so they can get some from all the females, while the ladies want to be marmosets because the baby daddy's take care of offspring. One student answered that she would want to be a mammal.

In other news I am having a severe cheese attack. Someone please take the feta away.

Jesus the Destroyer?

2007-04-19T17:46:00.000-04:00

Oooooooh look at the crazy comment left on my previous blog.

"IT'LL BE SUCH A GREAT DAY WHEN JESUS CHRIST, OUR LORD AND SAVIOR, DESTROYS ALL YOU "CONSERVATIVES." YOU'RE ALWAYS WHIMPERING ABOUT HOW THE SUPREME COURT SHOULDN'T BE ACTIVIST, AND HERE'S KENNEDY THROWING THE "CONSERVATIVES" A BONE JUST IN TIME FOR THE NEXT PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION.HYPOCRITES ALL. JESUS PLEASE DESTROY THESE EVIL ANIMALS. THANK YOU, LORD.AMERICA'S NOW DOING EVERYTHING THE COMMUNISTS DID TO THEIR PEOPLE. LOOKS LIKE THE CONSERVATIVES LOST AFTER ALL: dinoberry.googlepages.com/home "

Because conservative politicians and judges are WAY smarter than doctors

2007-04-18T11:32:00.000-04:00

The bad news which I initially got from feministing this morning.

Really I'm not sure what to say aside from the obvious wtfomg@!#!!! The Bush administration has gotten what it wanted with a Supreme Court ruling in favor of the ban on partial birth abortions.

Ginsberg's comments make me feel like someone actually thought about what was going on. Too bad she was in the minority.

"the Court's opinion tolerates, indeed applauds, federal intervention to ban nationwide a procedure found necessary and proper in certain cases by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. For the first time since Roe, the Court blesses a prohibition with no exception protecting a woman's health." She said the federal ban "and the Court's defense of it cannot be understood as anything other than an effort to chip away at a right declared again and again by this Court -- and with increasing comprehension of its centrality to women's lives."

Just shoot me

2007-04-05T11:41:00.000-04:00

Am I high? Apparently the ACLU is teaming up with the NRA to spotlight nasty Texas law enforcement types for arresting people with unliscenced firearms in their vehicles. Guh?

Even as a native Texan I am amazed by some of the wacky laws. While it makes perfect sense (to me at least) that carrying an unliscenced gun is a bad thing - especially in a car - you can do this in Tejas if you are "traveling". This outdated code is based on the dangers of traveling long distances when there were many a street bandit. Now I lived in Texas for quite a few years and never had to deal with roving banditos holding up my covered wagon as I made the long journey from El Paso to Amarillo. The way I have seen it is that people love their guns and will do anything to keep them in their hands...at all times....unliscenced or not. I can't really think of serious dangers in the suburbs of Houston as you travel from your home to the grocery store that would constitute the need for a gun in your vehicle as self defense. I can see how police officers would be a bit concerned if someone is carrying an unliscenced firearm in their car, however. Maybe I'm just crazy.

I may be biased by my past experiences. I used to work on a ranch which means that many of my coworkers were full fledged gun nuts. We're talking people who go "varmint" hunting in the middle of the night with campers ranging from ages 9-15. If anyone is not familiar with varmint hunting (ah I remember the days when I wasn't) you ride around in a truck in the middle of the night, stop, flash your brights and flashlights, find all the little nocturnal animals, and shoot away. I also remember going to an open bar at the same ranch where some guy came in toward the end of the night brandishing his new gun. He opened the case and started passing it around. I think it was loaded. We were all plastered. I sort of feared for my life, but was far more taken with the absurdity of the situation. This is the kind of responsibility people take with their firearms.

One of the most interesting things I saw in the NY Times article was how the NRA was trying to combat racial profiling.... against rednecks. I think the term is "Bubba profile". So basically this is protection of white dudes with mullets. I am sure they get far more profiling when found with unliscenced guns in their cars than other demographics. Whatevs. Texans are crazy, dude.

My life in one cartoon

2007-04-02T13:08:00.000-04:00

The funniest part is that my dad sent this to me

What the hoohah happened to March?

2007-04-02T12:00:00.000-04:00

Seriously is it the second day in April? I could have sworn it was January a few days ago.

I got back from Annual Professional Conference on Saturday. It was kind of a blast, especially since I got to see the ever so fabulous La Blonde, the babe with the bones, as well as other non-blogging friends whom I missed terribly. Of course the presence of Brazen Hussy and Prairie Oyster would have made everything complete. So what if your taxon of choice has changed? Can't you just come to the meetings to hang out and drink martinis with me?

The actual content of the meetings was pretty interesting. I got to talk to a lot of people about my hair brained research ideas which gave a good number of them some pause, after which they shook their heads and said "Not a bad idea, should be persued." Ah. If only those ideas could be turned in to a workable disseration within my program. We'll see what happens.

All the good talks (shocking...there weren't too many bad ones) and cool posters I finally started to get some fire under my ass to present next year. It has been really annoying that at this stage in my graduate studenthood I haven't had any time to accomplish some real research. Instead I've been channeling all my energy in to teaching, doing bitchwork, and taking mindnumbingly useless classes (linguistics) which has left little time to, I dunno, formulate a dissertation topic or put out small publications. I'm kind of determined to get something out next year though.

It's pretty terrifying that it is April already and I haven't accomplished a whole lot. Maybe more work and less blogging?

This makes me want to go vegan

2007-02-28T10:17:00.000-05:00

Come for the chauvanism, stay for the steak?

Apparently Robert's Steakhouse in the Penthouse Executive Club has some of the best steaks in Manhattan. And strippers! I guess these guys are catering to men's utmost desires though. Yep. All men like a little herpes with their red meat.

Tagged

2007-02-27T21:20:00.000-05:00

Dr. Brazen Hussy tagged me. Now I have to write down 10 weird things about myself. Like you didn't already come up with 20 weird things about me already.

1.) My ring finger on my right hand is all messed up because of my failed attempts at gymnastics when I was a teenager.

2.) I have a cap on one of my incisors also due to failed attempts at gymnastics. When I was 13 I tried to show my friends (at band camp no less) that I could do backhandsprings. I ended up falling straight on my face...like a verticle face plant which ended with a very chipped tooth.

3.) Also dentally related - I got part of my gums removed because my teeth always looked abnormally small when I smiled. This wasn't my idea, my mom and my dentist pressured me to actually get the surgery.

4.) When I chew repetatively my right mandibular condyle slips out of place. If you sit close enough while I'm eating chips you can hear the crackling sound in my jaw.

5.) I've gotten my ears, nose, and belly button pierced. Twice. They've all closed up at one time or another and I was indignant enough to get the piercings again.

6.) When I was a kid I feard ET almost as much as I loathed him.

7.) I've got an obsession with skin care products right now. Every time I walk by Duane Reade I think about buying some sort of new body scrub or moisterizers.

8.) I can end any conversation with a well intentioned joke or remark. I'll think something I'm about to say is brilliant or at least adequately funny and it will make everyone stop talking and look at me like I'm a crazy person.

9.) I've promised at least 60 people (50 of whom I've barely even met) that I will never dye my hair.

10.) I identify with too many Buffy plot lines. Like alot. Every time I see the end of season 2 I cry like a very pathetic baby.

I tag Rachel.

Like, gross

2007-02-26T10:13:00.000-05:00

Monday Sorostitute Article

A sorority in Indiana attempted to raise membership by kicking out all the smart, "overweight" girls. Apparently by keeping a core of only teensy, over made-up biotches more college freshman will want to pledge! At least most of the girls dropped out after this act of women on women discrimination was done.

Funny though ... I swear there was a "No Fat Chicks" sign in front of the Greek houses at my university.

Tuesday Cocktail Blog

2007-02-20T18:40:00.000-05:00

So this is inspired by Dr. Brazen Hussy's Monday cocktail blog. It's more or less a week late as I made it on Valentine's Day...but hey I just uploaded my photos over the long weekend.

The Love Cocktail

4 parts Sloe Gin

1/2 tsp fresh lemon juice

1/2 tsp rasberry syrup

1 egg white

Combine with cracked ice in cocktail shaker. Shake vigorously and strain into chilled cocktail glass. Drink with someone you wuuuuv (Ok even I'm not that cheesey).

The power of orange knickers

2007-02-17T12:35:00.000-05:00

Your Lucky Underwear is Orange

You have an intense personality and crave extreme emotional experiences. And your lucky orange underwear will help you take it to a whole new level.
Adventure and danger don't phase you - in fact you enjoy dicey situations. You're the first to take a risk, and the first to get the payoff.

And while your risks sometimes result in great rewards, they also sometimes result in devastating failures.
If you want to have intense moments without always risking all you have, put on your orange underpants. They'll help you experience life with rich emotions, no matter what you're doing.

What Color Is Your Lucky Underwear?

Cause I'm in a good mood about it

2007-02-14T10:36:00.000-05:00

Happy V-Day everybody! The cat and I are officially asking if you will be our valentine. So will ya?

Highly disturbing

2007-02-06T14:34:00.000-05:00

You know something is wrong when you are walking down the street, glance at someone walking their dog, and say "Wow the sweater that dog is wearing is so cute."

Not in the sense of "What a cute puppy dog in a widdle sweater" but more in terms of "Do they make that in human style?"

Either my fashion sense is completely messed up or people in this city have way too much money.

Readjusting is not my strongest feature

2007-02-05T21:23:00.000-05:00

Somehow all the effort I should be channeling into seminar paper research, teaching, classes, and personal growth is being redirected to re-arranging my room and watching horrendous television programs.

And I'm loving every minute of it.

Take a look. This is me - Happy Blogger. Notice the spring in my typing? It's grand. Maybe it's because I'm not paying any attention whatsoever to current events. Or is it because after a good bout of self loathing I realized...umm whatever I'm awesome and the root of the problem is totally not worth it? Possibly. Maybe because the first part of my comps are over? Is it because I now own 5 seasons of Buffy? Also possible. Ah the many joys of life.

I have a possible explanation for the newly embraced smiley happy WER. I'm thinking that the magnificent way in which graduate school beat me to a bloody pulp coupled with other ego crushing events over the past year and a half allowed me to look up at the soles of my own shoes...putting lots of things in perspective. So take that grad school! You thought you got me but I just came back stronger! Like a cockroach! Or Velveeta! Ha! Bring the rest of it on, biotch.

Although by "bring the rest of it on" I really mean, "Screw you I don't care anymore".

I got the love

2007-01-25T19:34:00.000-05:00

For New York. Yes. That's right. I can't stop watching I Love New York. Its all the trashy TV I need. Oh god. Yes. So many douchebags.

Three things

2007-01-25T17:39:00.000-05:00

1.) They just don't make sci-fi dramas like the X-Files anymore.

2.) I'm DONE with my comprehensive exams. They way sucked. But they are DONE.

3.) It makes me sad that Brazen Hussy, La Blonde, Prairie Oyster, Silk Stockings, and Mr. Brazen Hussy are not here. New York used to be fun.

Ah and so it begins

2007-01-24T10:33:00.000-05:00

First day of First Exam. Made it this far without anxiety attacks. Eye beginning to twitch.

Hooray!

2007-01-22T21:04:00.000-05:00

My computer hates Word and shuts down every time I try to open it!

*sobs quietly while cursing graduate program and all associated with it*

Blog for Choice Day - Bulleted Points Edition

2007-01-22T10:49:00.000-05:00

To honor the anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision it's Blog for Choice Day! So I'll participate in blogging on why I support the right to choose. Bulleted point style.

I don't think large groups of crazy people should make decisions on how all women should treat their bodies. Especially when these people are basing those decisions on sensationalist views and narrow "moral" standards that are tied to religion.
Women are not walking uteruses. We are real people with different needs, abilities, expectations, and views. Just because some people think our only purpose in life is to have and care for babies doesn't make it true across the board. Being a nurturing mother is great. But some women just don't want children. Not all women hold the same religious or life views as others as well. If you think abortion is evil that's your own thing. You can't impose that value on all other women.
Quality of life needs to be considered when people talk about the right to life.
I am terrified of people who try and blame their own psychological problems on abortions as another means to sensationalize anti-choice arguments. Abortion is not the cause of your heavy drug use. Child abuse might be. Abortion is also not the cause of the problems in our society. Close-minded politics, blind hatred supported by supposed righteousness, and inequality are definately not innocent.
There are over 6.5 billion people in the world and a limited amount of resources. Yeah kind of a weak argument but the point is we need to be responsible.
I think the people who argue most fervently against abortion rights have thier motives rooted less in the rights of cute little unborn babies and more in the oppression of women.
If women don't have the choice to pursue legalized abortions, they will seek out other options that are far less desireable. Think coathangers, unlisenced doctors, dumpsters on prom night. Taking away a woman's right to choose to have an abortion will not necessarily reduce the number of abortions that occur. It will reduce the options that women have and drive them to jeopardize their health.
Rape, incest, sexual assault, sexual abuse, spousal abuse, child abuse. The list goes on like that.
If a friend of mine gets pregnant and wants to keep her baby, that's fantastic. If I get pregnant at this point in my life, I know I would not be able to support myself or a child through pregnancy at the least. Let's not think about the rest of my life. I would want the ability to choose.

It's always harder on the weekends

2007-01-20T14:42:00.000-05:00

It's usually Saturday and Sunday late mornings when I go into serious withdrawl over the breakfast taco.

Ah, the breakfast taco. Eggs, cheese, bacon, spicy peppers, potato, salsa, grease. All in a warmed soft tortilla. You can be accompanied by your friend coffee in endless refills. You make hangovers seem miles away. To eat the blessed breakfast taco on a sunny patio with the paper and some friends.... please pardon me while my heart breaks a little bit.

Oh breakfast taco....why is it that you remain so far south? The bagel just can't compare to your majesty and deliciousness. A country style breakfast just represents you in your dismembered form. The bacon is just too nervous to mingle with the potatos. The eggs may come in some form other than scrambled. And salsa or guacamole is nowhere to be seen. It doesn't even matter if your wait person forgets to bring out the forks...you, oh breakfast taco, have shown us that it is acceptable to eat with our hands.

Of course I could always assemble a breakfast taco or two in my kitchen. But that, my friends, is beside the point. There is something far less satisfying when you have to drag your hungover ass out of bed and make this heavenly food. It should just be there. Smiling when you enter a decent mexican/tex-mex restaurant.

This rant was brought on by my sad little egg white omelet, which lacked the special something I was looking for this morning.

Was it wrong that I was drinking whiskey when I read this?

2007-01-18T20:20:00.000-05:00

Feministing had a blog post on educated women drinking more. Now I wonder what the conclusions would be if they had focused on graduate students...hmmmm.

This has been brought to you by the council for "Kick Comps Studying in the Balls."

A case study on why you should never get your hopes up

2007-01-15T16:18:00.000-05:00

This is a lesson I should have learned already. Getting your hopes up can lead to dissapointment. Luckily I've dealt with enough dissapointement that it doesn't leave as much of a sting anymore.

This past weekend I was supposed to sing in a cover show in Texas. I had been led to believe I would do something similar a year and a half ago and it fell through. This was the first crashing of hopes. When the show that was supposed to transpire a few days ago was being planned I had been asked to participate. Hopes increase. Then in October I was asked to not participate for a Very Stupid Reason. Hopes plummit. I plead my case to other people involved in the show, they say "Fuck that, dude, come sing with us" and again my hopes rise along with my determination to hold my ground and not let Very Stupid Things get in my way. My determination did cause some scufling to transpire between myself and the person responsible for inviting and uninviting me, but a musical truce was made.

Unfortunately my schedule did not allow me to stay in Texas through the date for the show, so I decided a weekend trip was well worth it. Practices went well and I had a general feeling that everything would be fun, not to mention the fact that I was growing more validated over other issues. Hopes were almost at their peak. The show was also supposed to represent a moment of closure on something that has put a huge strain on my life for the past six months (longer really). For the first time I really felt good about everything and almost felt peaceful. I was supposed to come out on top and rock out at the same time.

But let's go back to the title of our blog post.

A nasty cold hit me almost as soon as I got back to Texas a few weeks ago. I figured it had run it's course about a week and a half ago and there would be no problem when the show rolled around. That was a terrible assumption to make. Flying back to New York (and colder weather) then flying back to Texas (with high cedar counts and a cold that got to everyone) as well as an immune system that has seen better days subjected me to the Nastiest Cold Ever. I was popping back the decongestants, throat losanges, expired Dayquils, Nyquils, expectorants, and throat sprays like they were going out of style. My voice was absolutely shot by Saturday morning and I couldn't go 10 minutes without a coughing fit. Plus I wasn't terribly rocker sexy with my eyes red and poofy and tissues in a ready position by my nose.

That was big dissapointment #1.

Now for big dissapointment #2. Something people should know about Texans - they can't drive when it drizzles, is dark, or if temperatures drop below 70 F. The weather took a nasty turn on Friday evening and from the sky came that thing called rain, and lots of it. Forecasts were also calling for freezing temperatures in the next few days and people were worried about flooding and ice. SO stuffy, expired Dayquil loopy, Wild-Eyed Rose gets a call Saturday afternoon that the show she flew all the way from New York for had been cancelled. It was kind of a sad sight.

There were a few other dissapointments, but they are not quite as blogworthy. All I can say is that even when you think you know someone better than anyone else, you can be in for surprises.

In all fairness, I had a good time practicing for this shindig. I got to hang out with some people I hadn't seen in a while and was able to meet others who are really cool. Also I was told that since I had paid good money to come out for the show that never was, when it is rescheduled some people will help me with the plane ticket. BUT I will take a cue from the lesson learned. I will not get my hopes up.

What's funny is that today I'm feeling much better. Granted my voice is still subpar, but it still cheeses me off that I have to be completely out of commission when something so important to me was supposed to go down. At least I didn't make a complete ass out of myself, right?

At least that is out of the way now and I can focus more on my studies. Hey... are you laughing? I'm being serious here.

Ok I guess that is kind of funny.

belated goodness

2007-01-04T12:59:00.000-05:00

it's late, but happy new year to all you lovely people in blogland. in all honesty, i wasn't so sad to see 2006 go. there were a few prime moments in this past year, but i'm ready to slip into something new and maybe a little more comfortable. what do you say 2007? think you'd like to try? you be good to me, i be good to you? yeah you know what i'm talking about. i'm not really sure what i'm talking about.

i've been in texas for two weeks which has been surprisingly needed. i veged in my parents' house for a week and a half and took on absolutely no responsibility. no papers. no presentations. no grading. nada. when my plane landed and my parents ushered my tired sick self into the car they had two delicious shiners waiting for me in a cooler. oh to drink a beer while riding past the old high school. i think i went to bed at 8:30 that night. yay.

i've been in old university city since sunday and have been occupying myself with friends and tex-mex. i'm also singing a few songs in a cover show next weekend so i've been trying to figure out where and when rehearsals are as well as how to get to them. this is difficult without a car or many people who are willing to go out of their way to get you. sigh. at least i'm living out my big karaoke dreams on a real stage with bands i have been trying to sing with for something like 5 years now.

it can't all be fun though. i have to like...study for stupid comprehensive exams and find a topic for a stupid seminar class and make up stupid makeup exams and syllabi. i liked this no responsibility thing while it lasted.

two days after jesus's

2006-12-27T00:40:00.000-05:00

by new york standards it is past midnight. here in texas i still have 18 minutes or so. but in the grand scheme of things i am now 24. and yes, i am an age that is also the name of a popular tv show. go me.

*insert sound of party noise maker*

i might have some friends in town who will want to play with me. i definately have the entire third season of buffy now as well as plenty of movies to keep me occupied. who knows. dad said he might even share his good bourbon with me.

right there with you, buddy

2006-12-16T22:18:00.000-05:00

oh my god i totally know how you are feeling.

end of semester tally:

two weeks ago: 3 presentations

last week: paper due on wed. and two finals (one the most evil thing i have ever seen, the other made my hand cramp for hours what with all the writing)

monday: paper due and evil final.

tuesday: leave my borrough to hand in grades because the webgrading system is not working. this means i have to grade prior to the time alloted.

also tuesday: christmas shop and clean up apartment.

wednesday morning: fly to texas. like really early. and i get to deal with jfk holiday flyers. oh boy!

i'm really really hoping to get hit by a bus tomorrow. happy holidays to all!

it was so funny they forgot to laugh

2006-12-12T12:33:00.000-05:00

so i thought i was being really, really clever the other day when i was making up my final exam for my precious little students. i thought surely when they read the answer choices for this question at least ONE student will snicker. just a little bit. i was wrong.

so i submit to you, oh friendly blog readers, my favorite test question of all time.

Paleomagnetism is:
a.) a method of dating organic material
b.) a method of dating rocks using changes in the earth's magnetic field
c.) a method of studying paleoclimate
d.) the concept that paleontologists are very attractive

come on .... just a little bit funny?

it's in the cards...

2006-12-02T16:43:00.000-05:00

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

wait...no alcohol! maybe this is one of those tarot double meanings.

to counteract my general pessimism

2006-11-21T12:58:00.000-05:00

ugh

2006-11-21T12:55:00.000-05:00

the day started off alright, then i opened up my browser to feministing.com and read this monstrosity.

i agree with la blonde's post from the other day.

i am sure this is a phase

2006-11-19T15:52:00.000-05:00

i've come to the conclusion that for the most part, i kind of like teaching. i am not terribly good at it, but some of my students appear to have learned things and occasionally seem to enjoy my class. with this small amount of positive feedback i feel that teaching is therefore the most satisfying part of my graduate school experience. my classes are generally useless, and even if they were of some value it wouldn't matter because all i have time to do is cram, regurgitate onto a test/paper, erase, repeat. oh joy.

the other reason why i have become almost happy with teaching is the absolute focus it give me. when i'm lecturing i can't think about anything else except how not to screw up the next few words out of my mouth. it's almost therapuetic. this semester has brought a whole slew of negativity into my life which has left my brain to mire in the icky thoughts as oppsed to rejoicing in the better parts of my life. i can't keep my mind from wandering to unhappy/angry thoughts while i'm in class, at the gym, watching movies, or sipping back the bourbon. but while yammering on about fossils or sexual selection theory i can find some peace.

then again i have students who think opposums are a derived trait in primates. and i feel a little like kicking puppies. and still i firmly stand by my statement that teaching is more satisfying than the rest of graduate school.

give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses...

2006-11-16T11:48:00.000-05:00

exploit them, punish them, and force them out of the country with flaming pitchforks.

i grew up on the border of texas and mexico and have been privy to the illegal immigration issue for as long as i have been cognizant of what my parents spoke of at the dinner table. that the issue has become more national and that white people's reactions are getting so much scarier shouldn't surprise me. but it does.

apparently the texass state government put in several scary bills as an attempt to so kindly cock their gun barrels and ask illegal immigrants to "git off their prop'rtee".

what's REALLY scary is that farmers branch, tx, which is a dallas suburb (78% identified white, 37% identified hispanic) has declared english the town's official language and is making it difficult for illegal immigrants to live in apartments. now as i mentioned, is this shocking? shouldn't be given the increasing hostility of middle class white people towards hispanics (maybe it's in stasis, my mom just bitches about it more and more these days). the housing ordinance is particularly cruel in that landlords are supposed to crack down on illegal immigrants renting apartments and fine those they find out are not card carrying members of the u-s-ofa by fining them $500 a day for each tennent. right. i could barely afford 500% a month when i was renting an apartment in texas and i come from middle class white mommy and daddy money whenever i need it. don't just kick the people who do your shit jobs for you out...but kick 'em while they're down too. what totally cheeses me off though is that the people of good ol' farmers branch are claiming that this is a measure they are taking as defense against terrorism. huh? you mean you are afraid someone is going to mow your lawn for dirt cheap prices? i hardly think that the terr'ists they are claiming to worry about would ever even think about setting foot into bumfuck, tx. sorry kids. that's a part of the world that doesn't need screwing up. ya'll are doin it yerselves.

also in the news, there is a movement to change gene names because people take themselves too seriously. or maybe i am just insensitive? i think i would be comforted if i had some genetic disorder tied to a gene that has the name of a video game character.

sometimes gross things happen to me

2006-11-14T19:10:00.000-05:00

mr. ss was complaining of bug bites the other day which put us into a little bit of a frenzy over the threat of bedbugs. we searched and poked at our mattresses and found nothing. nada. the flies laughed at us and went back to their business. ss suggested we might have rougue mosquitos. i studied and went to bed.

but ss gets the prize! DING DING she was right.

i woke up yesterday morning to a small blotchy thing on my pillow with some confusion. and there is no confusion like just woke up after a day of studying confusion. why is there a big mark on my pillow? is it writhing? is that...blood? apparently in the night our mosquito buzzed into my room and licked his chops at the thought of dipping into my sweet sweet hemoglobins. alas. i was wearing full length pj pants and a long sleeved shirt. hmmm what about that delectible head blood? well the mosquito must have gone for my head or face and met the slow, crushing blow of my head as it settled back on the pillow. and what's more is that i'm not all that itchy.

it still grosses me out that i slept for a while in a small pool of blood that must have been a mix of the ill-fated mosquitos, my roommates, my cat, and who knows what else. i tried to think of ways i could test my pillow...but my memory of genetics last semester is blurry at best. all i can remember is t.d. telling stories about shooting woodpeckers. i learn a lot of useful information.

today in mental anguish

2006-11-12T14:58:00.000-05:00

i think i have a disease that prevents me from studying. it's making me experiencing some serious blog reading side effects.

i've been holding back a little vomit in my throat ever since i found out what a purity ball looks like. if you haven't seen/heard of this yet and don't mind having the urge to bash your head against a wall, i'd check it out. bolt girl wrote a really nice blog on these events and the whacked out "values" they attempt to impose on young girls. the best i can do is rant about how this kind of stuff pisses me off and gives me the hibbity jibbities.

it's astonishing that fathers are making their daughters pledge to remain abstinent before they tie the knot so that their virginity might be a wedding present for their future husbands. had i known that my sexuality was merely the property of some hypothetical future mr. wild-eyed rose i would have wrapped my hymen up in some fancy paper instead of letting some jackass paw his way into my panties when i got to college. i guess my father failed me there. all he did was take me to non-creepy daddy-daughter events and tell me to be responsible. no incestuous balls, no magic sex-crazed boy repelling vows, no chastity belts. nada. really my childhood was terrible.

well, i guess i am tarnished in the eyes of all good men everywhere. because i can't offer myself up on a little virgin platter no man will ever want to marry me. because really, don't all men want to be responsible for "taking" a woman's virginity. that first time sure is spectacularly uncomfortable! nah. i think i'll just take these used goods elsewhere and find some bad liberal guy who won't objectify me to ravage as an act of defiance.

that's it. i'm making a list.

2006-11-06T10:39:00.000-05:00

i think i will start making a list of states that i will never ever live in. today we add maryland. because rape is ok there.

via publius.

google image search "anterior"

2006-11-02T17:05:00.000-05:00

the third picture you get is wang. i guess it's anatomically tasteful? i just wasn't expecting all out full frontal male nudity.

this is what amuses me when i spend most of my day at new york city open enrollment college.

party like a rockstar halloween weekend

2006-11-01T17:11:00.000-05:00

this weekend was a bit intense..... but for the most part quite fun.

silk stockings and i hosted a halloween party on saturday which was attended primarily by lupec ladies and their respective mr. lupecs plus a few new friends. there was beerin the bathtub, there were scandalous costumes, there were good times.

due to the fact that neither ss nor i had to really teach on tuesday, monday ended up being rock and roll karaoke night. i finally sang "i touch myself" with a live band (something i was twice promised but will never get to do in that context) and gave such a lewd performance that it got an enthusiastic holy fucking shit. hooray!

the ladies will appreciate this. i had my students meet me at the zoo yesterday for our lab, and since it was halloween i told them that if they dressed as non-human primates i would give them extra credit. one student did indeed follow up on this and came as a male vervet. blue balls and everything. it made my heart a little happier.

the internet knows me so well

2006-10-28T16:04:00.000-04:00

What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?

You will drink too much gin. Not the worst way to die, but you won't remember too much of your life. Hey, at least you made some people laugh!
Take this quiz!

Quizilla
Join

Make A Quiz More Quizzes Grab Code

can i write this into a grant application?

2006-10-28T15:57:00.000-04:00

monkey torture

in honor of my new research goals.

apparently, i am a bitch

2006-10-19T19:52:00.001-04:00

The Sudden Departure
Random Brutal Love Master (RBLMf)

Sweet. Dear. Loving. At Gate 18. Final call.

You are The Sudden Departure.

You've been in a lot of serious relationships. More than a few have ended ugly. Uglily. Whatever. Our guess is that you're a really fantastic girl who doesn't really know what she wants, and you've broken a few hearts as a result. You fall for people easily, and you enjoy the feeling of falling in love, but once you're there, either boredom or the old "grass is greener" syndrome sets in. The mind wanders, and with it goes the flesh. And then the toiletries.

Your exact opposite:
The Intern

Deliberate Gentle Sex Dreamer

We know you're not the classic "love 'em and leave 'em" type, at least not in a purely sexual sense. You have too many serious bonding tendencies for that. But even though you're theoretically looking to settle down, you don't settle long on one person. "Serial monogamist" is probably something you hear a lot. "Emotionally loose" is another way to put it. To the poor guys eating your dust and sniffing your panties, it doesn't really make much difference. Of course, it's not really your fault that people get hurt. You have every right to move on when you choose.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Backrubber, The Gentleman

CONSIDER: The Vapor Trail, someone just like you

Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.

sheesh. i always thought i was kind of a nice girl. but i guess the online profile tests are always right.

via brazen hussy, and la blonde

kitlers

2006-10-16T18:23:00.000-04:00

i find this extremely amusing. but then again i am also extremely sick.

WER strikes the south again

2006-10-15T02:42:00.000-04:00

so here i am. in a hotel in jackson, mississippi. that state so loathed in spelling terms by second graders. with so many double consonants it could blow your little nancy drew reading mind. the state of that big river. of sweet potatoes with candy corn. with confederate flags and the memory of racism run rampant. ah, ol' miss. you sweet devil, you.

my mother's father's family had their family reunion today. which was an excellent excuse to a.) see my parents and b.) get the muthafuck out of new york. the reunion itself was nice enough. my mother's cousins are sweet and just being able to spend time with my parents was wonderful. i was baffled at the SEVERE LACK OF BOOZE but i guess that is about as much as you can expect from a group of self loathing/self aggrandizing baptists. all in all it was a good experience in its own.

but tonight. ah, tonight. it has been one of those moments truly meant for novels. the night where a veil is lifted. a secret uncovered. something that forever changes one's view on the entire world. now, ok. maybe i have had an event comparable to that independantly in the recent weeks. but tonight was particularly illuminating and disturbing. not necessarily of family secret, but of family suffering. of the idealized world versus the real world. politics versus bellyaching about politics. and the really hard part is that for all i've learned, i've only learned the most trivial bits. the scratch at the surface. and all i can say is, i appreciate my father even more than i thought i could. my mother for who she is. and i feel like a little ingrate for ever complaining about my shit problems that pale in comparison to what life actually deals. what life shouldn't deal. what the universe is dealing out in volumes we can't even comprehend.

but on a lighter note, shiner beer is sold in mississippi. and that is truly celebratory. hoorah for the bock. bock and roll, oh amberest of beers from small town tejas. bock on, mother bocker.

i'm not dead yet

2006-10-06T00:41:00.000-04:00

this is me attempting to crawl back into the non-academic world.

nails digging. head peeking over stacks of books and articles i'm expected to read. coffee fueling a very labored attempt to memorize definitions of shape space. welcome to the show, wild-eyed rose. this is your life.

my blogging has come to a shameful halt with the schedule dealt to me, but i am learning to work with it. i'm trying to keep up with current events, novels, personal relationships, and binge drinking ... ever so slowly. it will happen, and i will re-enter the blog world again.

so to you, my dear blog friends, hello! i'm still alive. i miss you. and i'm trying to return to my mediocre blogging capacity.

oh sweet jesus

2006-09-05T19:09:00.000-04:00

so remember how excited i was about the sun gracing new york city with it's presence this past weekend? yeah well now the rain has come back with a certain determination that makes it seem as if it has always been raining, and moreso has always been raining specficially to spite me.

this kind of rain on a long teaching day that shot my voice (although now my sore throat has morphed to what feels like a cold) and a day when i had to jump through registration loopholes at my home campus. oh yes and the best part - my first truly hellish subway experience. for some reason the green line was pittifully fornicated up and i had to wait for 30 minutes on the platform to watch stuffed cars pass by and not empty each time. i've never seen ANYTHING like it. bodies stuffed up against the windows and elbows at full flexion. it was a nightmare. the cars didn't even start to clear out until 86th street. you can't get me to like new york right now.

the only appropriate thing i can do right now is wear comfortable pants and make a hot toddy.

hooray for sunlight

2006-09-03T14:51:00.000-04:00

says claudius

i almost can't believe my eyes

2006-09-03T12:20:00.000-04:00

sunlight! glorious glorious sunlight! no more rain!

i won't look at the weather forecast .... i don't want to know how briefly this will last.

an eerie glimpse in to the future?

2006-09-01T13:48:00.000-04:00

has anyone heard about this fake documentary,"Death of a President"?

since my gym membership became unfrozen today i decided i could start watching the news again. you see i don't have proper cable in my apartment so i can't watch CNN. and besides, i get really stessed out when i watch the news at home and i figure if i can watch CNN at the gym i can just turn up the speed on the treadmill when the news gets too distressing or if i see bushy's face. stress relief AND fat burning.

anyway, i saw a report on CNN for this brittish mockumentary of the fictional assasination of president bush. hooboy are people going to be pissed. texan republicans are already voicing their dismay. quite frankly i'm just excited to see the fierce emotional uproar that should follow.

maybe a law will even be madethat you can't say you want to kill the president. even in jest.

i wonder if he was singin the blues

2006-09-01T11:35:00.000-04:00

so i love me some karaoke, right? right. but in all honesty there are certian boundaries to my love for the sport. 1.) there has to be a lot of showboating, 2.) people really need to be into the rediculousness of it, and 3.) it needs to be in a bar setting - not my apartment building.

i can't so much tell if this is your run of the mill, everyday showersinger or if this is something else. as i was brushing my cranky teeth with my cranky toothbrush i heard the distinct sound of background music and someone belting out long, flat notes in what almost sounded like some sort of amplification system. maybe his tonedeaf voice was bouncing off the cruddy tiles in his dingy bathroom. i don't know. but it put me to a whole new level of cranky.

now i too am guilty of shower singing which is most likely atrocious. and i'm not always bitter about people singing in new york apartments where you can hear a fly sneeze two doors down. this is just adding to my growing list of little things to complain and whine about, as that seems to be my general nature right now.

oh yeah and my evening at pravda has been cancelled or at least postponed. sigh. at least this might mean i get to save money.

there's hope after all

2006-08-31T07:47:00.000-04:00

YES!! TNT shows Angel at 7am! i have something to look forward to before teaching now.

don't make me do it

2006-08-30T23:14:00.000-04:00

i have to start teaching tomorrow. i've barely left my apartment in the past week and now i have to trudge all the way out of not only my neighborhood, but my burrough. and all to stand in front of students who won't even listen to me while i pretend to teach. whimper.

and if that isn't enough i keep looking at my course schedule for this fall which makes me want to curl up into a ball and cry myself to sleep.

there's no other appropriate title

2006-08-27T13:26:00.000-04:00

because it's a dog with sunglasses.

and you can't say much else about it.

it must be sunday

2006-08-27T12:55:00.000-04:00

i swear this is the sunday-ist sunday ever. it's extremely cold (well for august), drizzly, and grey outside which perfectly matches my mood. it's well past noon and i am still drinking coffee in my pj's, i put a really good novel to bed this morning, and i've been listening to regina skektor and ani difranco on shuffle. as i said before, i'm feeling a lot like sunday. but it is also kinda satisfying to my morbid hermitish self.

Epipremnum aureum or Plantus hardtokillicus

aside from finishing still life with woodpecker by tom robbins (a must read especially for those with red hair) my biggest accomplishment of the weekend was buying a pothos plant. my mom and a friend kept telling me how easy they are to take care of while i was back home and i became inspired by the words "virtually indestructable". apparently these babies don't need a ton of light and like to be watered just enough to keep the soil damp. my translation of these instructions is that they thrive on care that is just a step above neglect. i like plants but have never been able to keep them alive. several outdoor ivy plants, peppers, tomatoes, and a small indoor tree have all been murdered by my ineptitude at taking care of anything that doesn't have fur and ask directly for food and water. we'll see how it goes. pruning my devil's ivy leaves at least gives me something to do to keep my mind off of preparing for the semester.

no more traveling please

2006-08-26T12:01:00.000-04:00

i've been back in new york for a few days now and i guess i can blog again. although i never really have anything to say and now that is especially so. i had a nice time in texass. austin is always amazing, and i had fun with the whole wedding shindig. sigh.

i will also miss various brands of alcohol only available in that lone star state.

now i'm back to expensive beer and, gulp, classes. i'm about at the stage where i will start kicking and screaming "but i don't want to" repetitively until someone strangles me.

new york gets some credit

2006-08-18T11:17:00.000-04:00

have i mentioned that i really, really, really love public transportation?

last night i went downtown with my friend the bachelorette and many of our lady friends for one of those obnoxious last nights out. seeing as we were the ones running around with large inflatable penises and were getting free drinks i thought it was swell. plus we all had hand-made tiaras. neat. anyway, we were downtown, which is only accessable by car unless you live remotely near there. stupid sprawl.

we had all our bases covered as there were two designated drivers- one who was going in my direction even. well as we dropped the bride to be and a bridesmaid off at their hotel and were cruising down the feeder road, it happened. i got in my very first collision. we were stopped at a light, chatting about something or other, and then there was a bang. then a jerk forward. luckily the worst of it was shock and relatively little damage to my friend's car.

even though we were only in a fender bender the rest of the scene was a bit sobering. we were the third car in the collision. so some drunk uninsured dick slammed his shiny ford truck into the back of another shiny pretty truck which slammed into us. the drunk uninsured dick's truck was totaled in the front and the other guy's truck bed looked really really bad. once i saw the damaged truck bed on our way home the schock really hit me, because had we been directly hit by the drunk uninsured dick we would have been in really. bad. shape.

so maybe all the other shit i have to deal with in new york is just some sort of tax on not getting in drunk driver induced car accidents.

the carpenters would die if they heard this

2006-08-16T12:44:00.000-04:00

ha! finally i remembered my youtube password and can put videos in my blog. so here is a little something from mirrormask that c took great pains to send me.

i think prarie oyster would like it

2006-08-15T13:41:00.000-04:00

what do you get when you put jim henson's creature shop, the mind of neil gaiman, and lots of lsd together?

you get mirrormask! after a very long wait i finally saw it this past weekend. it was surreal bordering on creepy, but i kinda dig that.

it didn't have david bowie's package as a leading role or a bog of eternal stench, but it was a good film that in it's own way stands up to labyrinth.

maybe this is why i'm not so in to baseball

2006-08-15T12:00:00.000-04:00

as part of my austin extravagaanza, i accompanied two of my male friends to a baseball game last night. it turned out to be dollar hot dog night and they seem to have a leetle competition over who can eat the most weiners (hehee), so i thought i would at least do my best to keep up in the spirit of american gluttony. even though i didn't make too much of a disgusting slob out of myself, it seems that 4 is just too much, and i am paying for it today.

austin has been fun, though. i've been enjoying beer that is too full of texas pride to be exported out of the state and seeing people that i have missed dearly. a plan to go tubing on sunday was thwarted by the collective hangover from the party on saturday night, but i did get to do karaoke with my lovely friend who is gettin' hitched this saturday.

i have to mention that while i love karaoke in all it's forms, this karaoke experience was kind of lame. it was in a private room which takes away the charm of forcing strangers to hear you belt out '90s rock. they also did not have "i touch myself" on their list. i almost stormed out right then and there, but it is my love for the bride to be that kept me going. as a tribute to bh i made sure to sing "sweet child o mine" and "total eclipse of the heart". it wasn't the same without ya! and the videos weren 't as cool as the ones we have come across in ny.

thursday texass blog

2006-08-10T11:42:00.000-04:00

yesterday my mom and i went and did touristy things in my hometown. because i'm like, a yankee now or something.

we went to the winery which i had not stepped foot in since elementary school. it was far more interesting this time around since they were giving me samples. i ended up purchasing three bottles of wine and pining for a bottle of the tawny port, but alas, it was out of my price range. i do have to save up for liquor in the future you know.

to my surprise i had a very very good time jaunting around the old homestead and snapping pictures of things i don't see all too often these days. i did, however, come across a reminder of why i like blue states better than red. this sign was just on some dude's porch! i mean ja-he-sus! how much must you really hate women's rights to put a sign like this on your porch? in all fairness though, homeboy had a refridgerator and about five pounds of trash out there as well. you just can't give that much credibility to a guy with a fridgidaire on his porch. no matter how easy it is to reach for a beer whilst rocking back and forth, telling passers-by to 'git off yer propertee'.

meme time

2006-08-10T01:02:00.000-04:00

ok ok. my computer is finally back in biznass thanks to the genious and toil of my father. i only lost some pictures and a few relatively unimportant documents. screw you, windows. screw you to hell.

brazen hussy tagged me and i shall do my bloggerly duty and fill out a meme. because what the hell am i going to do? sleep? ha!

1. One book that changed your life?

i know it sounds lame, but Guns, Germs, and Steel by Jared Diamond really got me fired up about human evolution and our place in nature. so maybe i can blame jared for where i am now. why do you have to be such a dick, dude?

2. One book you have read more than once?

The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy

3. One book you would want on a desert island?

The Complete Hitchiker's Guide by Douglass Adams. which i guess is several books, but who is counting?

4. One book that made you laugh?

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris. i was sitting next to my advisor on a train and was near crying while reading an account of finding a ginormous turd in a bathroom at a dinner party. yah that was akward.

5. One book that made you cry?

Everything is Illuminated by Jonathon Safran Foher. but i'm pretty sure i can cry while reading a cereal box label these days.

6. One book you wish had been written?

a book about robots. lots of em. and gin. robots and gin. robots that run on gin?

7. One book you wish had never been written?

anything and everything by Nicholas Sparks.

8. One book you are currently reading?

Naked by David Sedaris. i recently finished Skinny Legs and All by Tom Robbins and that book freakin' blew my mind.

9. One book you have been meaning to read?

An Inconvenient Truth by Al Gore.

10. Now tag five people:

ah hell brazen tagged all the people i know save one. so i tag.......

rachel!

today in panic

2006-08-07T10:45:00.000-04:00

i've been in texass for a few days now. it's been nice with the pampering, seemingly endless supply of beer purchased by my father, and escape from new york humidity. i even enjoyed a brief affair with a faster running laptop. it played dvds for once even! well last night while sitting back from a full meal, a good cocktail, and the first half of the third season of 'arrested development' my computer gets a funny blue screen. a file went corrupt and we couldn't start the damn thing up.

after consulting microsoft webhelp, and my father's tireless and educated efforts we decided that the best thing to do would be to reinstall xp. i don't think we lost any of my old files but they now rest on a second operating system on my computer that i don't really know how to access. hopefully later today when dad gets back home we will work on my poor little computer. but at least it didn't croak.

and i realize that i have been tagged by dr. brazen hussy, i will get to that when i can.

sulk.

they don't make mugshots like they used to

2006-08-02T12:05:00.000-04:00

so ok. it just turned noon. i've been up since 7:30 due to my dear friend jetlag. i am still lounging around in newly purchased green boxer shorts polkadotted with lady bugs and the only thing that has passed my lips in the way of nourishment is coffee. so what. i'm a bum. deal with it.

since i've been out of the country for a month i decided to take a vacation from current events. ignorance is suiting me right now. anyway. in this state of lethargy i'm attempting to catch up, and i just read about good ol' mel gibson's recent run-in with the law and his anti-semitic statements he wishes to apologize for.

hmm. surprise surprise.

i've got to say the most striking aspect of the article i read was gibson's mug shot. was this really the sherrif department's mugshot? i mean really. did they airbrush that thing? he looks like some kid trying to squirm out of stealing cookies from the neighbor's cookie jar. or sticking a firecracker up a bullfrog's ass. this is not the face of someone truly repentant for driving drunk and vomiting antisemitic accusations. there are tabloid photos that look worse!

maybe i'm just not thinking outside the box. maybe the days of the grizzled, unshaven, wild-eyed lunatic mugshots are over. am i dissapointed? yes. when i see celebs fall i like them looking bloated, decrepit, and mad. where is the justice of the world?

dirty is right

2006-08-01T15:13:00.000-04:00

because brazen hussy always has good survey things on her blog.

i feel this is especially appropriate seeing as i had my first drunken night back in nyc with silk stockings and fluffy ruffles. it was fun, but i have no idea why i thought one slice of pizza could provide enough of a buffer for the 7 beers and other drinks that happened our way.

You Are a Dirty Martini

You are a sexy, sometimes belligerent, over the top drunk.
You tend to get in a lot of trouble. When you drink, there are no rules.

You should never: Drink in the company of strangers. Seriously.

Your ideal party: Is so good you black out in the middle of it.

Your drinking soulmates: Those with a Margarita Martini personality.

Your drinking rivals: Those with an Orange Martini personality

What Flavor Martini Are You?

back in nyc

2006-07-31T15:19:00.000-04:00

i have to admit it is good to be home.

the no smoking signs spattered across the whole of the city brings a swell of emotion and national pride something akin to old glory swaying in the wind.

france was good. the field season was relatively successful. we found a heap of large mammal bones. no primates, but we did unearth an entire horse. well...when i say entire, i mean all except the head. it appears this site has a growing number of headless mammal species. the horse was a very cool find but we had to exhume most of it in one big plastery block on the last day of work which was kind of a pain in the ass. the horse weighed about as much in this state as it did in real life if not slightly more. a creative system of logs strung together and the brute strength of 10 people carried our little marie antoinette over a substantial distance with only a few stops. i think the horse still split down the middle though. i don't think it felt anything.

i was utterly shocked and admitedly dissapointed by the drinking ethic of my fellow diggers at our site. they had none. it has been beaten into my brain that nothing is more satisfying after a long day of excavation than a beer-even a warm miller lite- if not several. this opinion was not shared by the college aged french students (and one american student). at dinner there was wine that none of my contemporaries consumed. i finally broke down out of contempt for this blasphemy and was the only student to consume the mediocre table wine with our older company. take that o youth of the clean living.

my french was not quite as acceptable as i had hoped it would be, and therefore felt embarrassed when i tried to speak it and guilty when i didn't. so i kept relatively quiet and read a lot over the month. it was fabulous. aside from the two dan brown novels (yeah yeah they were poorly written but they kept my mind occupied with decent stories) i read 'me talk pretty one day' by dave sedaris, 'everything is illuminated' by jonathon safran foher, 'american gods' by neil gaiman, and i have gotten half way through 'skinny legs and all' by tom robbins.

i am already missing and not missing french cuisine. while i enjoyed the food immensely i began to worry that i would become immense from enjoying too much food. luckily our bathroom scale is of the notion that i haven't gained any weight since i left. this is shocking as i ate far more food than i expended energy. i did bring back some coffee which makes me happy. and jittery. i do love the french notion that coffee should be consumed at all times.

the minute i was in germany was also good. i was in bonn for about 3 days (only one of which wasn't spent traveling) for a conference. the conference was alright and the beer was spectacular. unfortunately i didn't have enough time for pictures in germany. someday....

i'm happy to be back to some state of clean normalcy though. it is great to be able to wear a different pair of clothes aside from two dirty pairs of pants and five dirty t-shirts. i am also ecstatic to be reunited with my cat again. and internet. and air conditioner.

but alas. thursday will bring more travel. i will be returning to texass for a few weeks to visit family, friends, and participate in my first wedding. not my first wedding but the first wedding of a friend in which not only am i invited but have to be a bride's maid. oh the fun begins. aside from my weariness of traveling i'm looking forward to seeing people i care about in that silly state.

anyway. back to unpacking, packing, and attempting to finally clean my room. i look forward to catching up on everyone's blogs!

last paris blog

2006-07-10T17:06:00.000-04:00

or at least it is probably my last paris blog. i have no idea how i am spending my time between the end of the field season and my flight from paris to new york.

so last night after zoo-i-ness i went with the american baseball player roommate to watch the world cup. can i say absolute insanity? i've never seen anything like it, and i went to a big 12 university.

when we got off the subway stop at bastille we immediately saw people in 20 person deep groups outside of all the bars/eating establishments with televisions. most people were either painted with italy or france's colors on their person or draped in their respective flags. oh and they were shnockered. and carrying air horns. by a stroke of luck we found a restaurant with a television and decent prices to sit in while the game was going on. i was far more interested in my wine and the kid at the next table with a huge rat tail than the match, but it was fun. i was extremely happy that france didn't win because that meant i got sleep. the italians were going nuts though. we ended up walkign over to hotel de ville just to take pictures and a group of 7 enthusiastic italians were there with their hooting and hollering and flag waving. in about 20 or 30 minutes the group grew to about...i don't know...200. it was quite the party though.

today i basically did nothing but walk which was painful because i felt like wearing cute shoes. bad idea. once i found a nice lush garden in the evening i plopped like a ton of bricks and stayed until i got kicked out.

tomorrow i meet the advisor at the train station for to start the field season. fun and exciting. i doubt i will have as much internet access if any until the end of july...maybe in germany? until then i hope everyone can beat the heat and have a great few weeks!

sunday zoo blog

2006-07-09T13:19:00.000-04:00

dooood!

i went to the zoo today and it was fabulous. why fabulous? because there were baby animals EVERYWHERE! including a baby orang.

i am enthralled with capybaras (think massive guinea pigs) so when i saw two i had to stop for a while. the capybaras were hoovering around the little pond where two swans were swimming around and everytime the caps tried to take a drink of water, the swans attacked. it was sadly hilarious.

more pictures

2006-07-09T05:01:00.000-04:00

i feel like posting more pictures before heading out to the museum of natural history. cause i don't see enough of that you know?

fuzzy notre dame at night

the seine

eiffel tower at night from the jardin de tuilieries

fountain

jardin de luxembourg

paris- jour six

2006-07-08T13:24:00.000-04:00

i got stood up AGAIN! ARG!

i was supposed to meet the other student from new york who is going to the feild site with me this morning and he dind't show. hurumph! seriously i hate it hate it hate it when this happens. especially when it happens multiple times. we were supposed to meet at 10:30 and i actually waited until almost noon. but it was ok. i hopped on the metro to visit....

the museum of wine was AWESOME. plus i got a free sample at the end. although i was sad to learn that they stopped serving lunch at 2 instead of 3 (of course i ask at 2:15). i had been hoping for three cheeses and three wines.

i thought it was ironic that when i was waiting in the metro station some dude on a sax was playing "all by myself". yeah go eat your heart out.

today i have basically been walking around invalides and st. germaine taking lots of pictures. last night i went to the louvre (for free!) for a few hours which was super cool.

so for your enjoyment a few pictures!

the pyramid outside the louvre

bh are these in america yet?

merde. my time is almost up. stupid pay up front place! oh well. till later.

paris- day cinq

2006-07-07T10:07:00.000-04:00

mood: pissed.

so i have a friend i used to go to camp with who is french and lives in paris. we were supposed to meet at least two other times already that he flaked out on. it was fair. we didn't have straightforward plans. toady we had an arrangement to meet by the nearest metro station to my hostel at 3pm. i stayed around this area all morning long because i figured it would be risky to sight see and then try to rush back here. so i wasted half a day in paris. then i waited an hour for this friend to meet me. nothing. and guess what? it rained. and me without an umberella.

i HATE depending on other people in these sorts of situations. i have no phone except pay
phones and i got no answer on what i think is my friend's cellphone.

on to better updates.

last night i decided to head down to the latin quarter/st. germaine to see what was going on there. and to look in english language book stores for more reading material.

the latin quarter is where the sorbonne is so it is very young and hip. i felt eerily like i was near nyu. i didn't find the shakespeare and company bookstore but i had fun wandering around the area. i happened upon an alley with a bunch of prix fix restaurants and got an entire meal (paté, lamb, and peaches) as well as a "half" bottle of wine for about 11 euro. the wine was in a nicely sized caraffe which is why i say "half". the meal was pretty good and i had some nice time to read. wine tends to make dan brown's work better.

after dinner i wandered around a bit more and enjoyed the atmosphere of a college-y area. i know how much i bitch about hipsters and all, but it was a nice change from middle aged tourists all over the place. before i descended into the metro station at st. michel i decided to take a picture of the fountain bearing the same name, so i whipped out my proffesional looking nikon d-70 and someone asked me in english to take their picture. so i say sure and the guy tells me that i speak very good english. awesome. i told him i better since i am from america, and we chatted for a while. he had just flown in from new york as well so we had a lot to talk about. nice chap.

i got another good night's sleep which makes me truly happy. the key really is the wine. j'aime le vin.

since my friend abandonned me i am going to the louvre this evening. apparently admission is free at 6pm. i might only have 3 or 4 hours to paruse the museum but i like the price.

also we got a new room mate yesterday. an american baseball player currently living in italy. he played for the red sox triple a or something? don't know what that means. but that is what he told me. he seems nice.

paris- jour quatre

2006-07-06T11:27:00.000-04:00

i would like to start by saying i FINALLY got a good night's rest. i will owe this to
a.) not getting much sleep the previous nights
b.) walking around all day yesterday in the sun
c.) drinking an entire bottle of wine before bed
....what it finally got me to sleep! and it was in the midst of world cup madness. now i don't follow sports whatsoever, but something tells me that france won last night. and that something that told me was the sheer madness of commotion going on until the wee hours.

i was supposed to meet up with a friend who didn't show today. so i went window shopping (and a little real shopping) in montmartre. i am currently wearing cute new shoes that i bought for 10 euro!

and as promised a few pics!

the arc de triumph

a sign that appears on the public phone . i like it because they all look cracked out.

if i lived in paris i would be fat fat fatty fat fat.
this is a picture from the maritime museum. it's a whale skeleton and a penguin that looks like it is saying "wtf mate?!"
an amazing fabric shop (les tissus)
one of my five million views of the eiffel tower. this happens to be the best.greek statues in le jardin de tuilleries

my lunch on the lawn near the eiffel tower
sacre cour
cool red themed luxury hotel
it's a candy pig! look at the detail!
that's it. i am spending too much money on internet. till next time!

paris - day three

2006-07-05T12:36:00.000-04:00

oh so very tired. i just spent all day wandering around the city. i made it from the louvre to the arc de triumph to the trocodero by foot. now what i really wanted to do was find the musee de vin...but to no avail. not as easy to find as my little guide book would imply. but it was a decent day anyway.
i decided that my museum for the day would be the musee de l'homme (i didn't actually go into the louvre), but what i didn't realize is that is shares the same building as the musee de maritime (sp? meh i don't care). so i groggily handed over 8 euros in hopes of seeing a museum with maybe some interesting natural history stuff, and as i walked into the exhibitions all i saw were boats. merde.

it wasn't the best museum ever but it was ok. i had to get my 8 euros out of the experience after all. there was a neat hallway with pictures from an exbitition to the arctic that included seals (les phoques) and penguins (les something i can't remember that starts with 'm').

i am learning that the french have no qualms about public displays of affection, as i have seen at least 4 couples today making out indecently. and i mean indecently. i was just happy clothes were still on. but who am i to judge right? still. gross.

the two boys in my room have moved out so i get to find the next installment of douchebag hostel roommates when i return to andre gill. hooray! have i mentioned the people in my hostel have been keeping me up for HOURS in the middle of the night? it's like, really annoying you know?

i am going to try to upload pictures on my next trip to the computer. so stay tuned!

a demain.

en france

2006-07-04T14:42:00.000-04:00

bonjour! i have an internet cafe near my hostel and it isn't too expensive! thus i may be able to update with adventures from paris after all.

but i am starting to run a large bill. so maybe not much today.

the point is i am in france, it is lovely (when i am not near people in my hostel), and i can indulge in another one of my addictions. aaah yes internet. i lof you.

thanks for the well wishes brazen hussy and publius!

au revoir!

2006-07-02T11:32:00.000-04:00

i'm a leavin' for france today. hopefully i can post some updates whilst overseas, but until then i hope everyone has a great month of july!

news from texass

2006-06-28T13:49:00.000-04:00

an art teacher in austin, texas now has to fight for her job ever since attention was brought to some topless photos of her on the web.

The school district said the photos were inappropriate and violate the "higher moral standard" expected of public school teachers. As she was escorted out of class last month she was told that she's become an ineffective teacher.
The district wants to revoke her teaching certification, which would keep her out of Texas classrooms permanently. Hoover will appeal the ruling and is prepared to take the case to court, she said.

bear in mind that austin is one of the most liberal cities in texas. this makes the situation even sadder.

here is another good article from the austin chronicle which goes into a bit more detail. apparently there was no public knowledge of the website until the school sent out a letter to parents informing them that hoover had posted pictures on a pornographic website.

the teacher, ms t. hoover, defends her position that the photos were art and she has every right to post them and keep her job.

it's just amazing how hypocritical people are when it comes to women taking control of their sexuality and their bodies. this 'higher moral standard' bullshit is insulting. i remember when i was in high school in that morally upright state a security guard knocked up a 16 year old sophamore. instead of being fired outright he was transferred from the high school to the eighth grade campus. i guess statutory rape falls under higher moral standards.

for to drink with

2006-06-26T23:54:00.000-04:00

for prairie oyster! don't you love these?

barroo?

2006-06-26T21:57:00.000-04:00

how do these quizes know?

You Are a Boston Terrier Puppy

Aggressive, wild, and rambunctious.Deep down, you're just a cuddle monster.

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

with our powers combined

2006-06-26T09:30:00.000-04:00

silk stockings and i have one kickass liquor collection.

plus i'm a little excited about my new wine glasses from fishs eddy (which i'm currently drinking cheap wine from).

dear god. i have just realized that as bad as i may consider daytime television, prime time is much much worse- as demonstrated by cbs charlie sheen show.

vapid character #1: somewhat witty predictable joke

vapid character #2: gotta pee

canned laughter

it's a bit cliche

2006-06-23T11:32:00.000-04:00

i was more blissful when i was ignorant.

a man in indonesia caught bird-flu from his son.

global climate change is still scary.

i've also been experiencing funhouse vision since yesterday evening due to my brand spanking new glasses and perscription! weeee! at least i can now see with my left eye again.

yaaay

2006-06-19T14:59:00.000-04:00

thank you c of halix for sending me these clips from the animation show. i have kind of a crush on don hertzfeldt and his ability to crack me up with crudely drawn cloud things.
...
screw it. i tried to embed the damn thing but it isn't working.

monday mundane update

2006-06-19T14:38:00.000-04:00

it's always fun getting used to a new schedule.

like i am now finding that my access to stolen internet only starts getting good at 2pm. before then it's all crap. at least until then i have bad day time tv to tide me over. episodes of mauri in which really fat people date really skinny people are my favorite.

i've started trying to organize my nifty new apartment now that silk stockings has moved all of her stuff in. the liquor cabinet is now a sight to behold and pictures will be posted soon. nothing makes my heart sing more than a full bar in the comfort of my own home.

because of my overall laziness recently coupled with lack of reliable internet i have no idea what is going on in the world. this could explian why i am feeling quite chipper.

i think i may look for some new glasses and more things for the apartment. because i am a consumer whore.