today in mental anguish

i think i have a disease that prevents me from studying. it's making me experiencing some serious blog reading side effects.

i've been holding back a little vomit in my throat ever since i found out what a purity ball looks like. if you haven't seen/heard of this yet and don't mind having the urge to bash your head against a wall, i'd check it out. bolt girl wrote a really nice blog on these events and the whacked out "values" they attempt to impose on young girls. the best i can do is rant about how this kind of stuff pisses me off and gives me the hibbity jibbities.

it's astonishing that fathers are making their daughters pledge to remain abstinent before they tie the knot so that their virginity might be a wedding present for their future husbands. had i known that my sexuality was merely the property of some hypothetical future mr. wild-eyed rose i would have wrapped my hymen up in some fancy paper instead of letting some jackass paw his way into my panties when i got to college. i guess my father failed me there. all he did was take me to non-creepy daddy-daughter events and tell me to be responsible. no incestuous balls, no magic sex-crazed boy repelling vows, no chastity belts. nada. really my childhood was terrible.

well, i guess i am tarnished in the eyes of all good men everywhere. because i can't offer myself up on a little virgin platter no man will ever want to marry me. because really, don't all men want to be responsible for "taking" a woman's virginity. that first time sure is spectacularly uncomfortable! nah. i think i'll just take these used goods elsewhere and find some bad liberal guy who won't objectify me to ravage as an act of defiance.