Student exam answers...sort of offensive edition

While in the end written answers are far more painful to grade than multiple choice, they do happen to act as little windows to my students' souls. It's interesting what they pick up, selectively process, and warp from my lectures. One of the most astounding responses I got was for the definition of sexual dimorphism.

"A sexual disorder where an animal wants to have sex with another species of the same sex"

I'm not quite sure when I gave that definition. I AM certain that I defined sexual dimorphism like... a million times.

I also like to include the question, "If you could be any kind of non-human primate what kind would you be and why?" in my exams because it forces the students to spit something they learned about primates out and I always hope the answers will be entertaining. Generally the guys want to be gorillas so they can get some from all the females, while the ladies want to be marmosets because the baby daddy's take care of offspring. One student answered that she would want to be a mammal.

In other news I am having a severe cheese attack. Someone please take the feta away.