Subway rage

To all the dudes riding the subway: During peak hours I try to make myself as small as possible so as to not crowd the people surrounding me on the bench. Just because you have testicles doesn't mean you shouldn't do the same. You don't have that much junk, so please bring your legs together a little bit.

I also think certain rules of etiquette should be enforced when getting on and off the subway. Main rule - DON'T GET ON UNTIL PEOPLE HAVE GOTTEN OFF. I've been making a point of smacking the people trying to run onto the train with my bag as I'm struggling to get out.

Now I need a cocktail. Possibly something with mint