Subway rage

To all the dudes riding the subway: During peak hours I try to make myself as small as possible so as to not crowd the people surrounding me on the bench. Just because you have testicles doesn't mean you shouldn't do the same. You don't have that much junk, so please bring your legs together a little bit.

I also think certain rules of etiquette should be enforced when getting on and off the subway. Main rule - DON'T GET ON UNTIL PEOPLE HAVE GOTTEN OFF. I've been making a point of smacking the people trying to run onto the train with my bag as I'm struggling to get out.

Now I need a cocktail. Possibly something with mint

STD of Love

Alright, so I've been an avid fan of the Flavor of Love empire since January (I'm a late bloomer but I catch up quickly). But as much as I love trashy television, I wasn't able to bring myself to want to watch the new installment of Chris Abrego's tack - Rock of Love. I've got t say that after a few beers, and a scene in which one of the Rock of Love chicks raises her arms to show a clump of deoderant caking her armpit, I had to stay glued to the train wreck which is Bret Michaels' new "reality" show.

Now I never thought I would say it...but I feel like Flav has outclassed Micheals. The dude wore an effing clock around his neck, but Michaels actually called the women on his show "intelligent". Really, my sides are still hurting. There is something fundamentally different about this show and all the Flav shows and spin-offs. As Boyfriend and I agreed, there seems to be a strict policy of "leave your self respect at the door". Maybe this just hits too close to home when I think back on my college days when I was dating a musician. In fact I think I am learning about some serious flaws on my part in that past relationship. In order to have made it work with the drummer I would have needed fake tits, bleach blonde hair, and a foot-long list of STDs.

Suffice to say I'm glad things have turned out the way they have with me.

So, BH, are you keeping up with the show?

If only I didn't have work to do...

I want it.

I want it.

I want it.

Now.

But I am in the Bronx. Trying to work.

Perhaps tonight I will try and make a Lemongrass Champagne Mojito. Recipe courtesy of the Gilded Fork. Oh minty deliciousness.

I had grand aspirations to start growing my own herbs (mint, basil, etc) this summer. I bought a mint plant near the end of June and had hoped it would turn into a renewable source for all my cocktail garnishing needs. Even with vigilant watering and pruning, however, the plant died. Last week I had to remove the crunchy brown carcass as it was depressing me. Isn't mint supposed to be easy to grow? It's practically a weed!

I've never been good with plants. About the only plant I've been able to take care of has been the pothos ivy in our living room which is about as high maintenance as a dead cat. Ok maybe they require a little more care than that. I tried the neglect route with my first ivy plant which went horribly and have put more effort into the plants in the living room. But now every time I pass a New York City window with flowers and mini-gardens a certain sense of bittnerness swells up inside me. What exactly is wrong with me? I'm a reasonably caring person. I can take care of a few fish and a cat. Hey I take great care of my mammal!

Maybe it has something to do with my subpar arts and crafts skills too...

Oh well. I'll just keep buying my damn mint from the grocery store.

The weather fits the mood...

The rain is really coming down, everything is grey, and I am essentially the only person on the floor here at College in the Bronx. It's lonely and I feel kind of a sense of loss.

Yeah ... I read the last Harry Potter yesterday.

I'm not going to spoil anything. I had to stay away from the internet all weekend just in case. But I've been doing that anyway. My copy didn't come in until Saturday evening and I had a friend in town as well as dinner plans, so I felt bad about slinking away in to my room with a bottle of wine and the book as planned. Sunday then was spent curled in my bed, emerging only for food when necessary, with the final book. It was a great read, a wonderful adventure, and a nice ending by my standards. But I'll admit I'm sad that another story like this will be hard to come by, and I'll never again wait in anticipation for the next installment of the series.

Siiiiigh.

Wikipedia is such pinko commie liberal garbage

Or at least that is what people on the far right think? I learned the most amazing thing last night while watching the Daily Show - conservatives hate Wikipedia. Lewis Black went off on all the various responses conservatives have to the ever increasing liberal media, and mentioned Conservapedia, whose tagline happens to be "The conservative encyclopedia you can trust. The truth shall set you free".

Zuh?

Ok I get the whole Fox News thing. Fine. You don't like hearing great things about democrats in the news and would prefer a fair and balanced look up your own asses. Whatever. TV can be a bit liberal with all those educated working women who have sex portrayed in a light that isn't bad. But Wikipedia? Everyone can submit to Wikipedia. I never saw a disclaimer on the website that says insane douchebags can't post to the entries. Apparently all the entries in Wiki are too left-wing though, and conservatives need to fight back against misinformation.

Take for instance their entry on evolution. Oh I'm sorry, the theory of evolution. Let's not leave that out. I love the first paragraph...

The theory of evolution is a naturalistic theory of the history of life on earth (This refers to the theory of evolution which employs methodological naturalism and is commonly taught in public schools and universities). The concept of materialistic evolution differs from the concept of Theistic Evolution in positing that God does not guide the theorized process of macroevolution. There have been various cases of fradulent material that have been used to promote the theory of evolution. A majority of the most prominent and vocal defenders of the naturalistic evolutionary position since World War II have been atheists.

Emphasis on certain words my own. It's cute how they automatically devalue all valid evidence for evolution by linking to an article on the Piltdown Man, Ernst Haeckel's embryological illustrations, and two instances of faked fossils I have never heard about.

Conservapedia also devalues the definition of evolution scientists have adopted after the modern synthesis stating that this is just a "dilution" of the true original meaning.

I can't read through the whole thing without throwing up in my mouth a little bit, but my favorite bit so far is under the section titled "Social Effects of the Theory of Evolution" that blame "evolutionists" for the Nazis, communism, racism, and loose women. All are equally horrific.

I've glanced at abortion, feminism, and gay too. They are all pretty revolting.

* Ok so the site has been out for about a year...how did I never hear about it? *

Monday Monday

The internet connection in the apartment has been patchy at best, so I've had very internet time at home over the past week. It might be a wiring problem, but Time Warner has not been nice enough to help me yet. Until then I'll be doing most of my messing around on the internet while in the Bronx where I should be doing work.

Speaking of the Bronx ... now you are going to call me crazy, but I kind of really like teaching the 5 week summer session. I feel like I have a real schedule for once and the students are all pretty good. Not only do they flatter me with outright lies, but they are genuinely interested and well behaved. My opinion on this crop of students might also be biased by an incident last week. One of the students brought her elementary school-aged niece to the class a few times, and at the end of the week the girl gave me a classically refridgerator art style drawing that said "Thank you for helping and teaching my aunt". How adorable is that? If only all of my students brought in sweet, well behaved relatives who gave me stuff. It would truly be a magnificent world. If my students pass the exam tomorrow, I'll officially be able to say that I really like them.

This has been a draft for a while

So I'm back swimmin' in the ol' teaching hole for the month of July. Ah the summer session...5 weeks of taking the 4 train every morning at 7:30 to meet the shining faces of my students. Well...at least the students who show up.

The experience of shuffling to the subway station the past two mornings has been...a sticky one. The summer heat wave didn't care that it was before 9am, or that I had taken the time to blow-dry my hair and apply make-up. I keep showing up with what was supposed to be nicely coiffed hair in a complete shamble or a pony tail, my mascara smudgey below the eyes, my nice professional-looking shirts damp with sweat. Really I have been a mess.

Imagine my surprise then, when two of my front row right corner students told me I look like Katherine Heigl. Seriously...we could be sisters.